that was a wrong move!

hi guys.. if you've only read what my first post was about then i guess you can catch up on me here on this next post that I'm to discuss.

guys, i think the reason why the girl i like does not treat me that warm anymore unlike before because i think she's hiding something. i don't want to sound fresh but i just wont say it directly. i think somehow, we're the same (you know..).

last night, we were on an overnight beach party. i swam without having any apparel. it is because i have no extra clothes. since it's night, nobody can see me or perhaps they'll see but very insufficient (hehehe).

what happened next?

she too, soaked into the water after me (but she didn't see anything, i believe). but the problem is that, she too has no extra clothes (oh man, what you gonna do?).

i played the guitar after i wear out my clothes. i sang songs of wooing. i played loudly to make sure she hears it.

you know what?

she moved towards me and took a pew beside me. that was a nice part and i loved it. but what happened was, before me, i was tackled by my anxiety. she was cold cause she has just finished bathing in the deep. i moved away from her cause i don't know what to do. each time i moved my body to avoid contact with her is the time she will come closer and lay her body on my shoulder.

i just made distance again and i said, "you are cold.. you are wet.."

i think, in her mind she was thinking that i was infuriated, so she just stood up silently and walked away from me (how sad.. ). arggh! that was a mistake! that was a wrong move!

oh.. if only i had known what's what, i should have done right. i just realized everything after she moved away. i hope there will still be a next time for me. huhuhu...

anong nangyayari? :(

whew! i don't know if it's right. i just know i didn't meant to do this or perhaps feel this.

this story is just an ordinary story of someone who fell in love of his friend only that, I'm content with our relationship. i don't like to come to the situation where we both will ruin our relationship. being friends, for me, is enough. i don't want to push through. with this, you can call me coward.

let's say that I'm the kind of person who will choose friendship rather that heart partnership..

i love that woman so much that i still can keep this secret by myself, without telling anyone (or perhaps i told someone who has no relation w/ the girl). this secret is the one which makes my breathing much heavier. every time i see her, i cant talk. i just don't know what to say. when she's not around, i keep on missing her but when she's there, i have nothing to do.

i don't want to hope. what i know is that, too much hoping means to much pain when time comes that i will know that what I'm hoping for, was just like hoping for none.

i am happy having her around..

i chose not to do anything. i don't want to mess up our friendship. as I've said, I'm already contented of having her around. now the problem is that this girl is not a stone. i know she can feel me. now our relation is not as warm as it was before. every time we meet, we just overlook each other.

you know what i feel?

"ang sakit sakit.."

wala na nga akong ginawa pero dun pa rin yung naging tuloy. yung masira lang ang friendship.

anong nangyari? :(