I'm sorry for being selfish...

hi fellas.. you already know my situation or perhaps my story. now, I'm going to impart happenings that took place lately when we(my girl) were together.

last day (a Saturday), we conducted a community service. our service was cleaning a certain part of a municipality. i enjoyed doing this because I've had her company. the fatigue that I'm feeling is faded away by her radiant smiles each time i play jokes with her. and whenever she smiles, i simply look at her and smile too. and then, we continue cleaning.

usually after a major service such as this event, happens, there always comes a fellowship (you know.. let's drink to that! hehehe..). i and herself joined the school.

you know already that i really love this woman so much that she already feels me but, what I'm thinking that she's the only one who can sense this, is wide off the mark, because many folks also perceive of what my feelings for her were.

you know what, after a few drinks, the story shared by the group slowly changed until i became the subject (oh my gowd!). this time, they started interrogating me. they do not ask directly about her but their metaphor definitely portrays her.

at that time, i really am very anxious. i don't know what to say. my perspiration leaks like nozzle. but however i conceal my feelings there's always a saying that a fish is caught in the mouth. i don't know, especially that I'm kind of a drunk that time, i really don't know. words just come out thoroughly from my mouth. but i was still wide awake that time. i didn't tell anything directly. it brought questions into their minds especially the woman who was listening and was involved... the woman i love.

guys, i am very sorry for being selfish. i just think that it was not the right time and entirely not the right place. what would the woman say, that i just tell stories because I'm drunk. i don't want that to happen. don't worry guys, time will come that you will all know and the world will all know.

and to the woman that i love, i am very sorry too. i know you are aware of what my feelings for you are. you just would like to here it exactly from my mouth. you like to see my sincerity by hearing it personally from me. you know what, i love you so much. i just don't have enough confidence. i don't know how i will say it that it wouldn't sound awkward. i am sorry too for being sheepish. someday, ill find my courage. i just don't know where but i know i will...